So this is a super short update.

I”m in the midst of launching my new fitness product LGN365.

If you wanna read the foreword, written by John Romaniello, check this out.

If you want to check out the product, go here: LGN365.com

However, one of the coolest things ever happened yesterday. My first article got featured on ZenHabits.net!

It’s titled Building Your Strength In The Present Moment. As many of you know, I’m getting deeper into meditation, the zen lifestyle, and mindfulness. And this leads me to my next point – albeit short. [Read more...]

Today is an impromptu update, but it’s my blog and I can write if I want to.

So the last time I rambled, I discussed what I’m learning about myself since beginning this whole meditation thing. Turns out I’m learning more than I thought and it seems daily I’m becoming more aware than the day before.

This is good. Real good.

Question: So why the half-nude shot above?  There are a few reasons, actually.

1. The first one is that I’m just about finished with this damn fitness course I’ve been working on the last 6 months. This (or another similar photo) will likely be somewhere in the artwork for the cover design/promotional material.
2. The next reason is because my hair looks great.
3. The last reason is because while I may appear the same to those who see me regularly, I see something different. There’s something in my eyes I’ve never seen in an image of myself before. This is the first topic I want to discuss first. We’ll try to be brief

A Look Into My Eyes

One of the main reasons I’m practicing meditation is because I’m in a dire search of inner peace. For as long as I can remember, my mind has always raced 90 miles a minute. Looking back in school, even elementary, I was fairly high-strung. I can even recall some behaviors that are the classic signs of OCD, but I never thought much of it until revisiting those memories.

I remember being in kindergarten and having an obsession with washing my hands, turning the light on/off in my bedroom and this insatiable craving to count patterns in words and letters. Every time I read a word, I’d dissect how many letters it had and suddently group them in sets of 2′s or 3′s and find a pattern. Never could I not find one. This made me feel good.

There’s only one other person I’ve ever told about this and that was one of my best friends last week.

The funny thing is that I somehow just grew out of this neurotic behavior.

But when you’re growing up through grade school, you don’t understand being placed in rooms with other groups of kids to work on random projects while your peers did regular schoolwork.

Later in junior high and high school, I found myself in classes with kids older than I taking taking higher lever math courses. Before I’d graduated high school, I’d taken enough college-level courses to technically be done with my first semester of university.

Funny thing is college always bored me. I’ve dropped out twice and could never manage to sit still long enough. I’d eventually scrape the material, skip lectures and go ace the tests.

My mind was always racing.

So wtf am I getting at?

The truth is my mind never shuts off. I’ve had many friends and former lovers tell me they can see that while I remain calm and cool, they notice there’s always something going on in the background. It seems that no matter how focused I am or what I’m doing, they can see the wheels churning in my mind.

I’ve laid in bed with girls to hear the words “when you’re kissing me, does your mind stand still? Does it calm you?”

This has happened so much that I know it’s NOT them. It’s me.

Now, I’m not upset or ungrateful. I’m actually very grateful.

My life is a product of being unsatisfied with mediocrity. I woke up 3 years ago with the aim to change my stars and I can say with utmost confidence I’m doing just that.

But now, something is different.

When I look at that picture… when I look into my own eyes in the mirror, I see the hamster wheel slowing down.

I’m finding peace in the daily, menial tasks I participate in.

I’m slowly starting to realize that living in the moment is better than I’d ever imagined.

TL;DR Version:

I can feel my mind quieting and I’m getting way more out of meditation so far than I’d imagined.

It’s 7:30 a.m. and my flight leaves for Boston about 1:30 this afternoon.

I’ll be there for 16 days to hang out with my friends and to just get away for a while. Even though I’ll be in an unfamiliar place, I plan to keep up my daily meditations. At the end of the month, I plan to increase my meditation time slowly.

Since I’m doing about 5-6 minutes daily now, I’ll up it to 8 minutes the first week. The second week it will be 10 minutes. 3rd week 13 minutes and then the final 4 weeks will be 15 minutes.

The goal is to get to a solid 20 minutes daily for at least a month before I try to increase the time.

My Birthday Month Meditation Challenge

Since I started rambling here, I’ve been getting lots of questions on how to start meditation or if I think it’s beneficial for [insert your reason here].

The truth is, I’m no guru. I know nothing. All I know how to do is sit and count my breaths and I suck at that so far.

The interesting thing is that I can already feel a difference. Something in my brain is changing. I’m finding more clarity and the ability to focus is improving. This might be the cure for my ADD.

Instead of celebrating my birthday (August 4th) only, I always celebrate birthday month. I love that I’m in existence so much that I extend the celebration from 1 day to an entire month.

So here is what I’m asking from you. A birthday month present of sorts…

If you’re interested at all in meditation, join me in a 30 day experiment. All you need is 5 minutes daily and a written promise to yourself that you’ll do this. If you’re interested in learning more about yourself, set aside some time and do this.

I was chatting with Leo Babauta over the phone the other day about habits and how to create them. He said that the easiest thing you can do is set aside 5 minutes to do something. It doesn’t matter, just do it for 5 minutes. Starting is often the hardest part, but once you get going, it usually goes fairly well.

And I’m living proof. I fought this for so long until one day I was like “hey, if I think I ain’t have five minutes, I’m lying to myself.”

First let me clear some objections

• I don’t have time
• I don’t know how to start
• I’m afraid I’ll get it wrong
• it’s too hard

And this is my answer to all of these objections:

You’re making excuses. Stop it.

Everyone has 5 minutes per day to spare.

Starting is easy. All you have to do is get your but on the pillow (or wherever you want to sit and relax).

You can’t really do it wrong as there’s no right way to meditate. Just find a comfortable, quiet place to sit. Close your eyes, and then begin counting each breath. Count 1, 2, 3, 4 until your mind wanders. Sometimes I think about pizza, training, walking the dog, having sex in the bathroom, whatever. After you catch yourself in the thought of something other than your breath, refocus and begin counting again.

Set a timer for 5 minutes. When it goes off, you’re done for the day.

I agree that it can seem difficult. However, the benefits far outweigh the mental chaos.

Will you join me?

If so, I want you to do this.

Commit to only 5 minutes daily beginning August 1st (or you can start now).

Commit to keeping a journal and updating it daily or every few days. Write about everything you experience, how hard it is to focus on your breath, and whatever else you experience.

Drop a note in the comments if you have questions or if you’re ‘in’ as I’d like to know who’s doing this with me.

Remember. Meditation isn’t some daunting task meant only for those in some far off monastery. It’s for ordinary folks like you and I as well.

There’s only 2 things you must do…

Begin and Continue…

The above photo is a couple of screenshots from my beloved iPhone. The left side is my home screen – bare and minimal, just like I like it. The most prominent app is the Streaks App (you will see the ’15′ in there which displays the daily streak I have going) from the App Store. On the right is a screenshot of a Streaks calendar I’m using to keep me in check, so to speak, when it comes to keeping up my daily meditation.

As you can see, the 16th is unchecked because I haven’t done my meditation yet today (it’s 7:27 a.m. as I’m typing this).

I will aim to keep this short, as my main goal of today’s post is  to share a few things I’ve learned, and some current struggles I’ve experienced with my meditation. All in all, it’s been a very positive, enriching experience – much more so than I believed it would be.

2 Subtle ‘Aha!’ Moments

I’ve been keeping a journal to document my meditations, feelings, what’s happening, and how I feel about it all. As I look back over the last week, I experienced a few things in different scenarios.

1st Aha! Moment

I was training a few of my clients last week. I had a few ladies back to back, and it was just another normal day of training, or so I believed. During the first session with Susan, we began chatting during her warm-up about the fitness industry in general, the bad name a lot of fitness pros have due to shady sales practices in commercial gyms, and the maniuplating of people’s minds to make a few bucks.

I’ve come to know Susan very well as I’ve trained her since February. I call her a friend actually. I’ll probably be lecturing to her office floor about the basic concepts of a sound diet and exercise plan in the coming month. As I was discussing topics, and ideas with her, we came around to the bad experiences she’s had in commercial gyms – mainly trainers overselling and under-delivering when it came to the actual training process.

After a few minutes she smiled and said “wow, I can tell you’re really passionate about this – you’re adamant about proper education and giving the most back to your people.”

She even said I ‘lit up’ when discussing how badly I hated how most commercial trainer coordinators conduct business… mainly the idea of funneling as many leads into the office, giving them the hard sell, and then assigning them to some trainer who just doesn’t mesh with the client.

Long story short, I put her through the session and I found myself feeling completely whole. I don’t recall focusing on anything other than her efforts, and progress. I pushed her past her supposed limits, made her better, and then told her how much better she’d gotten.

I was focused. She was getting results. All that mattered was that session. I knew nothing else.

Immediately after working with Susan, I had Brittney. Now, she is a relatively new client, but she’s come so far in just a few weeks – her motivation is high. I knew she’d be a good one after I interviewed her to train with me.

I had the same experience with this session… My focus was 100% on her efforts. I let everything go. I only looked at my phone to check rest periods. I kept close eye contact with her and ensured she did everything correctly.

I found myself experiencing deep feelings of joy as I coached her through strenuous movements. Pushing people past their supposed limits is my job – I’m used to this, actually. But that night was different.

I didn’t think much about this until I was in my car on the ride home.

I was still on high with these ‘feelings‘ but had no idea what was going on until I returned home to finish my journal entry for the day.

Then it hit me.

I was living purely in the NOW with no fear or worry about the future, or regrets of my past.

The great joy I was receiving as I coached these ladies was a product of letting go of everything and just focusing on them, the moment, and being content with what was going on.

No changing anything.

No attempt to control anything.

Just letting it be.

2nd Aha! Moment

So the second moment came a few days later. I recently ditched my commercial gym membership and joined a small local S&C facility to get my personal workouts in for the week. It has everything I need, no A/C, and is full of young athletes and regular Joe’s who are there to put in work.

Every time I walk in, there are guys sweating their asses off doing heavy squats, and conditioning work.

So I went in on Saturday for my bodybuilding training. It was back/biceps day and I was one of 3 guys in there. I normally listen to Pandora radio when I train, usually The Weeknd station, or some other hip hop. However, today’s reception wasn’t too hot, so I relied upon my iPod.

I decided to take a break from hip hop and put on some Rage Against The Machine (first album). The 2nd track, ‘Killing In The Name Of’ came on and I realized that I was again, ‘in the moment.’

All my fears, thoughts, worries, predispositions were so far away from me. All I could think about was bodybuilding, pulling the barbell to my chest, rinsing and repeating.

Again, I found great joy in being fully aware of the moment and how it made me feel, which is pretty spectacular in itself.

Here are some unedited excerpts from my journal last week:

Meditation has been really good for me, I think. I learned yesterday (12th) the importance of being in the moment.  Mainly this was after my meditation session when I was training Susan and Brittney.  I noticed myself completely wrapped up in their sessions and finding great joy in what I was doing.

Susan even said I ‘lit up’ when I was talking about the sales process and how many bad trainers there are – along with my passion to provide good information for all. (July 13th)

–

Today I decided to train. I did back/biceps from my brogramming. It was cool – when I’d first gotten started, I was listening to my usual TheWeeknd radio on Pandora. Once I got into my second movement (cable rows), I changed it to RATM and got lost in the moment during Killing in the Name Of by Rage Against The Machine. I actually started dancing without caring as I was getting ready for the heavy pulling. (July 14th)

 

So what am I learning about myself?

That’s a great question, and for now I ain’t got a real good answer in terms of knowing exactly what’s happening, but here are a few ideas…

Learning to Let Go
I find myself caring less, actually. I seem to be less affected by the small things that used to frustrate me. I’m finding that my concentration is improving when it comes to various tasks that used to beg for distraction.

I’m learning that Habits are what make you great, not merely ideas…
Fortunately I’ve been able to come in contact with some really great people. My life is changing in an incredible way as I make new friends in the fitness space. I’m even using a course created by Leo Babauta on building habits.

I’m always striving to do better, give more and produce lots of awesome. It wasn’t until this last month of keeping a daily habit of meditating at least 5 minutes, that I truly understood that the greatest changes we can make all begin with the tiniest habits.

Owen Cook said it really well (paraphrased): “While you’re sitting in front of the TV, I’m out practicing, and doing these menial little tasks, that make me better by 0.001% and this is why I succeed.” Originally taken from this lecture (even have the exact spot tagged).

I don’t particularly ‘like’ meditation – I like the benefits
So far, I can’t say I actually look forward to sitting in silence. There’s always something to be done. Always something to work on.

Sometimes, I just want to veg-out and play video games (something I’ve been doing lately too – probably deserves another post on that).

Sometimes, I don’t want to do anything.

However, I can now see the benefits of meditation manifesting in other areas of my life, and I’m happy to continue my journey.

I’m  finding it easier to get my work done – anxiety-free, actually. I even wrote some copy yesterday for my upcoming fitness course and it didn’t make me antsy like I thought it would. I actually enjoyed the process for once.

Frustrations and Practical Advice

The last thing I want to bring up is how my actual meditation process normally goes. I’m still a budding beginner when it comes to this, so please understand I’m just sharing with you what happens in my head.

I usually sit down and focus on the first 5 breaths. Then I fade. I start thinking about an article, or what I need to eat. I think about driving downtown for a meeting, or getting coffee later that week with Steve.

Then I refocus. Back to center. Back to the breaths.

5-6 more counts, and I’m sidetracked again.

I mostly find my mind wandering about sex, though. If there’s anything that engulfs my mind more than anything at random times throughout the day (and not just meditation), it’s sex. It also doesn’t matter how much of it I’m getting at the time either. It can be once per week, or 3 times per day, and I still find my mind constantly flooded with random thoughts about it – mostly neutral.

I even wake up in the middle of the night from vivid dreams of previous sexual experiences and more recent love affairs.

Male animal.

So why’d I tell you about my random thoughts?

Because I want you to know that if you begin the practice of meditation, you will battle them. You will struggle. You will think you’re not getting anywhere.

However, someone wise shared this tidbit of knowledge in the comments section of the last post:

There are only two rules for meditation: begin and continue. Keep in mind, there are no failures in meditation. It’s a mistake to consider the practice meditation in terms of success and failure.

I’m slowly learning that to begin and continue is all that really ever matters, in anything. Start and keep going. Don’t let the discomfort or lack of understanding deter you if you want something bad enough.

I’ve rambled long enough. I stayed out drinking last night, went to bed at 1:30 a.m. and awoke at 5:30 a.m. from some very vivid dreams again. I never get up this early, but if I’m up, I may as well get some work done.

thank you for reading.

JC